My work contract here in Perth expires at the end of March. Unless IBM Australia decides to pick me up again, then I loose my visa and have to leave the country. I don't have to go back to the US, but I would have to leave Australia. So this has me wondering what will happen in the next few weeks.
I suppose the worse case is that I will end up homeless again for a while. I no longer have anything back in the US. No car. No home. No job. If I catch a flight back to LAX, then I will have to walk out with only my laptop, bicycle, and a suitcase.
I have been given offers of short term places to stay. My friends in Santa Barbara said I can crash in their guest apartment. My sister in San Diego said I can crash at her house. But they have 3 kids and pets. My friend Martha said I could stay a little while in Tampa. I suppose my mom would let me crash at her house in Tucson if I really needed it. I haven't asked. And I would be mortified to do so.
But honestly, I don't wanna be a burden on anyone. I'm an adult. I should be able to take care of myself. I've been toying with some ideas. But pretty much everything involves money I can't afford to spend right now. I won't be able to rent any place until I find a job. And after that, I will probable have trouble because my credit still has some bad stuff on it left over from the divorce.
Back in 2000-2001 I was quasi-homeless. I mastered the art of "urban-camping". I was working in Los Angeles and my home with my estranged ex-wife in it was in Santa Barbara. In the best of circumstances, the drive between work and home was two hours. In traffic, three, possibly even four hours. I could not see myself working 10 hours a day, then spending 4 to 7 hours driving. The fuel expenses, the wear and tear on my vehicle, and the demands on my body and mind, would have killed me.
I considered renting a tiny place near work where I could crash. I couldn't find anything for less than $600 a month. That was too much money. I could not afford that. I considered renting a cheap motel room (like Motel 6) a few nights a week. But even that gets expensive. After all the taxes, a $50 a night room comes to $80. Plus the hassle of checking in and out. I also found that the cheap rooms had hard and uncomfortable beds, faulty plumbing, noisy neighbors, and they smell like stale cigars.
I owned a 12 year old pickup truck. So I bought a shell top for the bed. I put a camping air mattress in the back, a sleeping bag, pillow, and blanket, which gave me a place to sleep. I had a suitcase with my clothes in it. That is all I needed.
I also had a gym membership that was only $60 a month. This got me access to some nice gyms around California. That gave me a place to shower in the morning. So I reckoned that I was saving some serious money by sleeping in the back of my truck at night during the week. I would only need to drive home on the weekends.
It worked out fine. I found that I preferred to sleep in my own sleeping bag and pillow rather than a dodgy motel bed. I made sure that I kept the truck clean and tidy so that it would not stand out. The windows on the side of the shell were smoked, so people could not see in. If they pressed their faces against the window, they could not really make out that someone was sleeping inside.
The only things that would give me away were (a) my snoring, (b) someone seeing me crawl in or out of the back. I scouted out 6 quiet and semi-private places to park not to far from work. I would then rotate a different spot every night as to not get the neighbors suspectious. I would make sure that no one would see me crawl in or out of the back. I preferred to park in the parking lot of the gym that I would use in the morning. That way I could fall out at 5am and walk in when the doors opened.
Most nights were peaceful in West LA A few times a security guard would get very curious and start nosing around. One night I was backed up to a wall, and some punk jumped off the wall on to the roof of the truck. He was running away from something.
I would never drink any fluids past 8pm. That way I would not have to wake up in the middle of the night to pee. However, I anticipated that there might be an occasion where I had to go. So I stored a big bottle in the back as an emergency piss jar. Being the brilliant guy I am, I put some thought into the piss jar. I figured that if I had to use it, it might be a few hours before I could dispose of it, and it might smell. So I decided to be pro-active. I poured a little bit of bleach into the jar and kept it there. I figured that the beach will help manage the urine smell for a while.
Well one night it happened. I had to pee. Ah ha! I had planned for this emergency. So I stood on my knees in the back of the truck, removed the lid from the top of the emergency jar, unzipped my pants, stuck my penis into the jar opening, and let it go. So far. So good.
All of sudden I heard this strange hissing sound from the jar. The urine in the jar starting to boil. The sides of the jar got hot in my hands. Then a noxious cloud of gas came up and started burning my lungs and eyes. The jar, which was heavy plastic, started to melt. I couldn't breath, and I felt like my lungs were on fire.
I kicked open the back of the truck and fell out, gasping for air, blind, and with my penis hanging out of my pants, rudely interrupted in the middle of a piss. I am so glad that there was no one around at the particular time. I am even more glad that I didn't die then and there in the back of the truck. Can you imagine the police report? Middle age man found dead in the back of his pickup truck from mysterious causes with his dick hanging out of his pants.
I thought about what I did wrong and it hit me. I was such an idiot! What is in bleach? Chlorine. What is sometimes found in urine? Ammonia. There must have ben enough ammonia in my urine to trigger a chemical reaction with the chlorine in the bleach. You know what happens when you mix chlorine and ammonia, right? Bad stuff. It is lethal.
Lesson learned. Never piss into a bottle of bleach.
So getting back to my predicament. If I end up back in the US with no job, money, home, etc. I will see if I can scrape up enough to buy a pickup truck with a shell, and a Gold's Gym membership. I think that I will be able to survive until I get back on my feet again.
And my emergency piss bottle will have dish soap in it.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Busted?
Well guys... we are busted. The women of the world have deployed a new weapon in the war of the sexes. Our two-timing cheating days are numbered.
They now have a dating equivilant of a credit report on a online database website named "Don't Date Him Girl". I noticed that there is no way for the man to dispute the "facts", or demand that his entry be removed.
However, I suspect that this web site could be in violation of US Federal law. Specifically, the Fair Credit Reporting Act. These are the same laws that regulate the national credit bureaus. Based on my reading of the FCRA, they fall under its juristiction. If that is true, then they can be held liable for not meeting dispute and data accuracy standards.
Also, I would think that a contributer and possibly the site owners could be sued for slander. Interesting idea. I don't think that I would risk my neck to create such a site.
By the way... I'm not on the database. I looked.
They now have a dating equivilant of a credit report on a online database website named "Don't Date Him Girl". I noticed that there is no way for the man to dispute the "facts", or demand that his entry be removed.
However, I suspect that this web site could be in violation of US Federal law. Specifically, the Fair Credit Reporting Act. These are the same laws that regulate the national credit bureaus. Based on my reading of the FCRA, they fall under its juristiction. If that is true, then they can be held liable for not meeting dispute and data accuracy standards.
Also, I would think that a contributer and possibly the site owners could be sued for slander. Interesting idea. I don't think that I would risk my neck to create such a site.
By the way... I'm not on the database. I looked.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Another travel tip from me!
When I was writing about the fake muggers wallet in the previous post, I remembered another travel tip that I would like to pass on.
If you are traveling outside of the US, especially in Mexico, carry two drivers licenses with you. What you do is "loose" your current license. Tell the DMV that your wallet was lost or stolen and that you need a placement license. Keep the old license in a safe place for travel purposes.
When you get pulled over by the police in Mexico for a shakedown (this has happened to me), the first thing they do is confiscate your drivers license. Then you have to pay them to get it back. Just give them the cancelled license. The dates on it will still be good, and there is nothing on it do indicate that it was cancelled and replaced. The only way they will be able to tell is to call the DMV and check.
So if your bribe negotiations fails and you have to flee, at least you can get back in to the US.
You can do the same thing with your passport. But I have not done that.
If you are traveling outside of the US, especially in Mexico, carry two drivers licenses with you. What you do is "loose" your current license. Tell the DMV that your wallet was lost or stolen and that you need a placement license. Keep the old license in a safe place for travel purposes.
When you get pulled over by the police in Mexico for a shakedown (this has happened to me), the first thing they do is confiscate your drivers license. Then you have to pay them to get it back. Just give them the cancelled license. The dates on it will still be good, and there is nothing on it do indicate that it was cancelled and replaced. The only way they will be able to tell is to call the DMV and check.
So if your bribe negotiations fails and you have to flee, at least you can get back in to the US.
You can do the same thing with your passport. But I have not done that.
American Express Platinum Card
Hmmmm.... American Express send me a Platinum card in the mail today. I didn't ask them for it. I've had their Gold card since, like forever. And I have been satisfied with it. So I was a bit taken back when this fancy silverish package arrived at my box and an Amex Platinum card fell out.
Or so I thought.
A closer look reveals that the name embossed on it is "Your Name Here". It turns out that the whole thing was only an invite to apply for their Platinum card. They had stuck a fancy brochure in the package that reminds me of those glossy brochures that Mercedes-Benz and BMW print up for their luxury cars.
I was at lunch, so I decided what the hell. I will read their marketing fluff. Lots of cool photos and text kissing my ass telling me what a powerful, decisive, refined, and special person I am. I deserve this card because I stand head and shoulders above the suffering masses.
Ignoring the ass kissing, they are a bit short on details. I could not find exactly what I get, or what makes this so special, or what it costs. They elude to vague benefits such as...
Last minute reservations to top restaurants. Huh? This in Ron they are talking to. I don't even like going to restaurants that make you wear shoes! I also refuse to go to restaurants that require reservations or "connections". If they don't have enough seats to meet public demand, then I will take my business elsewhere.
Exclusive Offers For Some Of The Most Unforgettable Places To Stay On Earth. Notice they don't say "pleasant places". How could I forget a night in the slammer in San Francisco? Or sleeping on the Denver Airport floor during a blizzard?
A service dedicated to smoothing your path and satisfying your every wish. What the hell does that mean? Can I call them up and order a hooker and hitman?
Fly first or business class with a companion and get substantial savings. What? Buy two first class tickets? You know what the dirty little secret about flying first class is? I'll tell you. You pay four times as much, but YOU STILL GET THERE AT THE SAME TIME AS EVERYONE ELSE DOES! How about if I just keep that extra money in my pocket, eh?
Travel Service: So how is this better than the travel agent down the street?
Enjoy upgrades and exclusive benefits at over 800 hotels world wide. Only 800? That really isn't a lot of hotels when you consider how many cities there are in the world. So... are they saying that Motel Six will give me free roll-away for a night? Whoo Hooo!
Buried on the back, I found the price for all of this. $900!!!! Yes, $900 to carry a credit card in your wallet. Holy shit! Are they out of their friggen minds?
But this is not all a loss. I am going to put this fake Amex card into my mugger's wallet along with the fake drivers license and other phoney ID. My muggers wallet is a cheap throw-away wallet that I keep on me when I am walking through dodgy areas of cities. If I get mugged, I simply toss them the fake wallet. By the time they figure out it is worthless, I am gone.
Note: You have to put a little real cash in the fake wallet. That will distract them long enough to not notice anything odd before you get away.
Or so I thought.
A closer look reveals that the name embossed on it is "Your Name Here". It turns out that the whole thing was only an invite to apply for their Platinum card. They had stuck a fancy brochure in the package that reminds me of those glossy brochures that Mercedes-Benz and BMW print up for their luxury cars.
I was at lunch, so I decided what the hell. I will read their marketing fluff. Lots of cool photos and text kissing my ass telling me what a powerful, decisive, refined, and special person I am. I deserve this card because I stand head and shoulders above the suffering masses.
Ignoring the ass kissing, they are a bit short on details. I could not find exactly what I get, or what makes this so special, or what it costs. They elude to vague benefits such as...
Last minute reservations to top restaurants. Huh? This in Ron they are talking to. I don't even like going to restaurants that make you wear shoes! I also refuse to go to restaurants that require reservations or "connections". If they don't have enough seats to meet public demand, then I will take my business elsewhere.
Exclusive Offers For Some Of The Most Unforgettable Places To Stay On Earth. Notice they don't say "pleasant places". How could I forget a night in the slammer in San Francisco? Or sleeping on the Denver Airport floor during a blizzard?
A service dedicated to smoothing your path and satisfying your every wish. What the hell does that mean? Can I call them up and order a hooker and hitman?
Fly first or business class with a companion and get substantial savings. What? Buy two first class tickets? You know what the dirty little secret about flying first class is? I'll tell you. You pay four times as much, but YOU STILL GET THERE AT THE SAME TIME AS EVERYONE ELSE DOES! How about if I just keep that extra money in my pocket, eh?
Travel Service: So how is this better than the travel agent down the street?
Enjoy upgrades and exclusive benefits at over 800 hotels world wide. Only 800? That really isn't a lot of hotels when you consider how many cities there are in the world. So... are they saying that Motel Six will give me free roll-away for a night? Whoo Hooo!
Buried on the back, I found the price for all of this. $900!!!! Yes, $900 to carry a credit card in your wallet. Holy shit! Are they out of their friggen minds?
But this is not all a loss. I am going to put this fake Amex card into my mugger's wallet along with the fake drivers license and other phoney ID. My muggers wallet is a cheap throw-away wallet that I keep on me when I am walking through dodgy areas of cities. If I get mugged, I simply toss them the fake wallet. By the time they figure out it is worthless, I am gone.
Note: You have to put a little real cash in the fake wallet. That will distract them long enough to not notice anything odd before you get away.
Update to previous story
Back in November 2005, I posted about a gang of 4 young men who physically attacked photographers and other people standing outside of a Melbourne courthouse after an Islamic terror ring was busted by the police. These men were supporters of the accused and had shown up for the arraignment.
What has upset me at the time was the fact that the police stood by and did nothing. These guys were caught on tape assaulting people in front of the court house. Yet, they were allowed to just walk away. The police didn't do a damn thing about it.
Thankfully, there was enough outrage about this that the police and prosecutors were forced to act. They eventually decided to press charges against the four. They were granted bail and told to show up in February 2006.
Well.... February came and went. I didn't hear anything about this case. So I did a little digging on the internet for news. I ran across this little story from 21-Feb-2006.
These types of guys are the same types of guys that are causing problems in Australia. The are of Arab decent. They are quick to anger and usually react with group assaults. This is exactly the same behaviour that triggered the Cronella (Sydney) Beach riots in December. Young Arab-Aussie men respond with extreme violence when told by a life guard to stop harassing sunbathers.
I am dismayed that the police have asked for 6 more months to present a case. WTF? They have videos of these goons attacking people. What more do they need? The reason they are postponing is because the police are afraid of them and their friends. After the riots, the Arab neighborhoods are on edge. The police want to wait for things to cool down, or for the public to forget about the assault so they can quietly drop the charges.
What has upset me at the time was the fact that the police stood by and did nothing. These guys were caught on tape assaulting people in front of the court house. Yet, they were allowed to just walk away. The police didn't do a damn thing about it.
Thankfully, there was enough outrage about this that the police and prosecutors were forced to act. They eventually decided to press charges against the four. They were granted bail and told to show up in February 2006.
Well.... February came and went. I didn't hear anything about this case. So I did a little digging on the internet for news. I ran across this little story from 21-Feb-2006.
Bash accused scuffle againNice guys eh? The attacked the same camera man again, and in the same spot!
A CAMERAMAN allegedly bashed by five men outside a court was confronted by one of the men again yesterday.
Channel 7 cameraman Matt Rose was on assignment filming the men who appeared in the Melbourne Magistrates' Court on charges of assaulting him.Mr Rose stood in front of the men as they walked from court -- filming at close range -- before one of the alleged bashers shoved the camera back towards his head.
The brief scuffle happened at almost the exact spot in William St where Mr Rose was violently attacked in November last year.
Abdul Sayadi, 24, of Brunswick, Nasser Raad, 27, of North Coburg, Monzer Ramadan, 28, of Coburg, Majed Raad, 21, of Coburg and Bassam Raad, 24, of Meadow Heights, have each been charged with affray and assault.
Mr Sayadi, Mr Ramadan and Nasser Raad are also charged with behaving in a riotous manner.
All five men -- who are family and friends of nine men allegedly involved in a Melbourne terrorist cell -- appeared in court.
Police made an application to adjourn the hearing to gather further evidence and view more footage of the incident.
Magistrate Lisa Hannan extended bail for the five men and ordered them to appear again in the same court on August 1. It is the second time Mr Rose has covered the story since he was attacked.
These types of guys are the same types of guys that are causing problems in Australia. The are of Arab decent. They are quick to anger and usually react with group assaults. This is exactly the same behaviour that triggered the Cronella (Sydney) Beach riots in December. Young Arab-Aussie men respond with extreme violence when told by a life guard to stop harassing sunbathers.
I am dismayed that the police have asked for 6 more months to present a case. WTF? They have videos of these goons attacking people. What more do they need? The reason they are postponing is because the police are afraid of them and their friends. After the riots, the Arab neighborhoods are on edge. The police want to wait for things to cool down, or for the public to forget about the assault so they can quietly drop the charges.
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